Pink, Black (more like rambling really)

I wanted to time it perfectly.
I'll wear the old ones tonight
So that the new ones will be clean
When and if someone actually sees them,
Because tomorrow night might be different.
But I guess that doesn't matter,
Because the people who will sleep with me
Don't give a shit what my underwear looks like,
Nor do I care what they think.
But the people who I want to wear cute underwear for-
Those who I want to sleep with-
Don't want to sleep with me at all.

two parts of the same hole

I)
I complain about my life,
About how i don't have anybody
And I look in the mirror at my scars,
And pick at my scabs,
And I think;
Who could ever want this?

II)
I don't feel like myself.
I can't see straight
And I like it.
And nausea comes in waves
And between them I'm ok
And I forget about it all;
About her, about them,
And I can write then.

insomniac's dream

"And I miss your laugh, your smile"
And your lips
And I want to kiss you
Like we used to
And hold you
Like we used to
And we can lay in bed
We don't even have to be naked
And I'll put my arm around you
And you can lay your head on my shoulder
And put your arm on my chest
And we can just be together
Like we used to.

wrote this after coming back from a night of drinking. i dont actually remember what i wrote so this will be interesting...

Once again my perception has changed,
Because it doesn't fucking matter
One fucking bit
And my makeup is everywhere
And I dont care
And I have to charge my phone
But who wants to talk to me anyway?
NOBODY.
That's it!
You're the reason I feel.

It was a dull, gray morning
And I could hardly stand
As I washed last night's indiscretions
Off of my hands.
I looked up at where the mirror
Was supposed to be,
But all I saw was a blank wall
Staring back at me.
I can smell someone elses scent all over me,
Or is that now what i smell like?
Have I really changed this much in one night?